image

Space 2 Alfa’s control room became silent as the Commodore’s orders fell on the crew’s ears. Eyes quickly glanced between one another as the idea of towing 1 Alfa home became reality.

“Roger that, Astro Base. We’ll bring Number 1 home… Over,” the Captain said while standing from his chair. “You heard the Commodore, prepare for emergency evacuation of 1 Alfa- into your spacesuits, people! Engineering-“

“Yes, Sir,” a voice shouted from across the room.

“Take down our shields and shut down all nonessential power. We need to conserve all the juice we can if we’re going to make it home. Bronson, I need you to guide her in manually- no auto pilot for this one.”

“What’s auto pilot?” Bronson said as smugly as he could muster. The Captain’s eyes pierced Bronson’s subconscious taking him back to early childhood when being scolded by his father. “I mean, yes Sir,” Bronson corrected himself.

“Richardson, ready the Green Arms and make sure all personnel have their handhelds. No Alfa ship has ever lost complete power and communication, I’m sensing there’s something more at work.”

“You got it, Sarge!” Richardson said a little over enthusiastically. Richardson was the last of the old school. He had been on the front lines of Galaxy War 7 and was in the squadron that released the first Light Particle Blast or LPB. The new LPB technology was a peacemaker and brought the Finale Fighters home, ending the galactic war.

“On guard and be vigilant, 2 Alfa. Let’s bring our boys home,” and the Captain’s orders came to a close. The hum of the giant computers and machinery were deafened across the ship as engineering began to cut power. A red glow protruded from the darkness as emergency lighting replaced the once well-lit corridors and hallways. A silence and darkness consumed the ship as everyone kept quiet as they made their way closer to Space 1 Alfa.

Meanwhile, back at Astro Base’s anti gravity docks, Jimmy, Brian and Schuyler were finishing up for the day.

“Hey guys, I’m sorry I was such a prick earlier…” Schuyler said while wiping off his tools. “I just hate working on these obsolete pieces of shit. We should be out there, heading up an Alfa ship of our own.”

Jimmy began to chuckle, “I can see the Commodore as he wishes us luck on our first mission. ‘Okay Schuyler, no huffing liquid uranium. Brian, easy with her- it only cost 7.9 Hums to build…” His laugh turned uncontrollable as he could barely finish his sentence.

“Yeah, he’d be like, ‘and Jimmy, if I catch wind of you firing one Green Arm without my permission- straight to Xon 5!’” Brian also snickered.

“Okay, I take it back. I’m not sorry and I hate you fucks,” Schuyler said but couldn’t keep a straight face. “Brian, are you coming to band practice tonight or are you pussing out?”

“I will be pussing out. Meeting up with one of the editors from GO! at Chili’s.” Chili’s was the last remaining Earth restaurant chain. They invested and partnered early with corporate space exploration offering classic Earth meals to space explorers. Their early diversification landed them prime spots on outposts throughout the galaxy and later throughout the universe. Early capitalization and a strong multi-species marketing campaign complete with infectious jingles allowed them to survive the Wastie depression.

“Oh yeah, Chili’s? Is it a date? It sure sounds like a date…” Schuyler teased.

“The editor is a dude, and he’s been trying to do a story on why I hangout with you assholes in the docks and never became a pilot,” Brian defended himself.

“Just because he’s a dude doesn’t mean it isn’t a date, we know how your gravitational pull works. So… What are you going to tell him?” Schuyler quizzed Brian. Schuyler always felt insecure about Brian’s piloting abilities and potential. He knew he was better than the docks and often thought it was only a matter of time before Brian moved on, abandoning himself and Jimmy in the process.

Jimmy sensed the direction the conversation was heading and began to sway his hips in the most seductive way he knew how, “he’s going to tell that GO! editor to back off because there’s only room for two men in his life.” Jimmy continued to dance and added some nipple rubbing, “us!”

“Yeah, basically…” Brian said sarcastically. “Minus the gay... Oh, and I’ll probably mention something about the band.”

Schuyler paused and looked at Brian for a moment, each of them could see the words racing through his mind. Finally, his seriousness gave way to a smirk, “well good, do all the MENtioning you want but you better talk up our show at Zytans!”

Jimmy’s diversion worked and Schuyler put away the last of his tools without pressing the subject. “I’m glad we’re not practicing tonight anyway,” he said. “I’m going to see if I can find anything more about 1 Alfa’s disappearance...”

“Strong work, Sky.” Brian said out of the corner of his mouth that received a giggle by Jimmy. “I’m sure the intel you gather will be much better than ABIOS…” ABIOS is short for Astro Base’s Intelligence and Observatory Station.

“I’ll have you know that I have quite a few connections on ‘the inside’ and have partied with a few Yibbians in my day.” Space 1 Alfa was on a peace-keeping mission to the pirate colony of Yibbia before its disappearance. Yibbian pirates, while mostly harmless, were still a black eye on Astro Base’s nearly perfect free trade sanctions.

“Report back to us with your findings, solider!” Jimmy said as if he was ordering a Finale Fighter.

“Jimmy, if I was the Commodore, I wouldn’t let you fire a Green Arm either… Peace out, fagles. I’ll see you tomorrow,” and just like that Schuyler put on his hat and made his way to the exit, flipping Brian and Jimmy off as he passed through the big metal doors.

Newsletter

Enter your email below and never miss news and new releases from SW Hammond.



Pick Up Your Copy

  • Prime
  • Kindle
  • Paperback
  • Hardcover
  • Buy
News
SW Hammond
Spectacularly printed coffee table book filled with tons of photography. It’s been a long time coming, but the hardcover version of The...
SW Hammond
The Biggest Little City brought out the cosplay for the Reno Sands Comic Con! Big thanks to the fandom, organizers, and exhibitors of this...
SW Hammond
Wow wee, things look a bit different, eh?? Check out the brand new website! Here she be—I like the new design quite a bit and it should...
Culture
SW Hammond
Today was… difficult. October 2, 2017—the day of the Las Vegas Massacre. It was technically the night before, but the world woke to another...
SW Hammond
See no evil. Hear no evil. Speak no evil. While there is absolutely no moral equivalency being drawn between good and evil—right and...
SW Hammond
No. For reals. I’m genuinely asking. While Conway isn’t single handedly responsible for Donald Trump being elected, she was certainly...
Media
SW Hammond
Hold on… Can’t type—my trigger finger has a cramp from holding down R2 two hours straight… I’m don’t know what Three Fourths Home was...
SW Hammond
Life Is Strange became a perfect storm of teenage angst, friendship, and hipster quirkiness backed by thoughtful storytelling and a...
SW Hammond
People are sheep, and Stanley Milgram scientifically proved it. How could the Holocaust happen? How can there still be institutional racism?...
Music
SW Hammond
Sarah Saturday's dreamy-reflective bedroom pop rock project captivates and compels with earnest songwriting. Sarah Saturday might be my...
SW Hammond
Maybe you can never go home again. But if you could, Ghost Notes would be the soundtrack. For some reason I’ve avoided writing about Ghost...
SW Hammond
Guilty Pleasure? Embarrassed??? Hardly. As much as I love music, and devoted a significant amount of my life to it, I can still be pretty...
Philosophy
SW Hammond
What is the soul and how does it work? Is your soul exploited by the State through the Noble Lie? Plato (429—327 BCE) serves as the backbone...
SW Hammond
The greatest challenge to General Artificial Intelligence (GAI) is human intelligence. We as humans would be the GAI’s creator and its...
SW Hammond
Things are One and Being is truth. The pre-Socratic philosopher Parmenides, who is thought to have been born between 540 and 515 BCE (dates...
Memoirs
SW Hammond
I was finally able to extract a bunch of data from an old hard drive. I was sure it contained old writings, school projects and music but...
SW Hammond
As I’ve become older, out of my twenties for a couple of years, I’ve found myself settling into a pattern of reveling in solitude. When I...
SW Hammond
I used to pour my guts out. Seems the only way I ever understood my feelings were to read them. The collection within these pages used to...