Arizona Fall League

It’s been a long time… I apologize to you, and to myself. Always feel like a significant part of me dies when I step away from creative / personal writing for an extended period. You’d think at this point in my life I would have learned that I don’t operate well without it! Unbalanced. A little less in tune with the world and my place in it. It may not be reflected or communicated well, but there’s something grounding and satisfying when I put words together on a blank page. Secrets unlock.

So, what have I been up to? Well, I went back to Phoenix and worked for Major League Baseball for another season. I just can’t seem to step away! It was a fantastic experience- I worked in the Commissioner’s Office in Western Ops, Bud’s desk was actually right across the hall from mine (not that he was ever there). Helped with the Arizona Fall League, Angels AZL at Diablo Stadium, and few other various projects.

Baseball is a consuming gig. The hours I committed in order to feel like I was doing a good job were crazy. Routinely 70, 90, and even had a 110+ hour weeks. At this point in my life, that is a complaint. Baseball is a huge passion of mine and the game will always have a significant part in my life- I was again so fortunate to meet great people, icons, be apart of something so much bigger than myself, and turn that passion and experience into a paycheck. However, there was very little balance. I rarely had a thought or a meal that was away from the ballpark.

Normally the workload wouldn’t bother me, hell I would have welcomed it, but I had The Final Book in the back of my mind the whole time. Things were moving along so well with my writing prior to signing up for another season- tons of freelance opportunities and charging ahead through the novel. I felt I was being pulled away from “this” and that my stories and ideas were fading. That job, lifestyle, requires such a different part of the brain. Not that there were enough hours in the day, but I felt I was losing my creativity and ability to express myself.

I assume most people would scoff and laugh at that- for one to “say such things” about even having an opportunity to work in baseball, and the second that creativity is all in my head- my choice whether to be creative or not. I hear that, but I don’t know how to do both. My creativity is a fragile thing- it needs the foundation of a proper living situation, work stimulation, functional / drama free relationships, and the physical release from exercise to even get it turning. Once it sparks, I then need to dive in and foster it- put considerable effort into nurturing and strengthening that part of my mind. Exercises, practice, variety of content, deep-thinking and a bit of hope and optimism. That’s how mine works- I’m not sure about others but that’s how I’ve achieved creative success in the past.

I don’t feel that my head is in a creative place right now. I’ve been away from baseball for 3 weeks and this is the first time I’ve been able to come back to HyL without feeling completely lost and disappointed in myself. When the season ended I thought I’d be able to just dive back in, pick up where I left off- it hasn’t been that easy. Writing this has been a struggle.

So, what does the future hold? Am I recommitting myself to writing? What’s happened with the novel?

I have the opportunity to return to MLB next season if I choose. That’s a tough decision… I love the game. There’s something special about being at the ballpark… The fear is if you reject the opportunity, you may never get another one. Do I want another one? Do I feel I have unfinished business with baseball? I know with certain changes and improvements, the opportunity would become more intriguing and almost foolish to pass up. However, I can’t see a time or place when MLB and creative writing merge and I could accomplish both at the same time.

That’s the crux of my current uncreative rut. Until that decision is made, there’s a cloud hanging over my solar-powered muse.

Newsletter

Enter your email below and never miss news and new releases from SW Hammond.



Pick Up Your Copy

  • Prime
  • Kindle
  • Paperback
  • Hardcover
  • Buy
News
SW Hammond
Spectacularly printed coffee table book filled with tons of photography. It’s been a long time coming, but the hardcover version of The...
SW Hammond
The Biggest Little City brought out the cosplay for the Reno Sands Comic Con! Big thanks to the fandom, organizers, and exhibitors of this...
SW Hammond
Wow wee, things look a bit different, eh?? Check out the brand new website! Here she be—I like the new design quite a bit and it should...
Culture
SW Hammond
Today was… difficult. October 2, 2017—the day of the Las Vegas Massacre. It was technically the night before, but the world woke to another...
SW Hammond
See no evil. Hear no evil. Speak no evil. While there is absolutely no moral equivalency being drawn between good and evil—right and...
SW Hammond
No. For reals. I’m genuinely asking. While Conway isn’t single handedly responsible for Donald Trump being elected, she was certainly...
Media
SW Hammond
Hold on… Can’t type—my trigger finger has a cramp from holding down R2 two hours straight… I’m don’t know what Three Fourths Home was...
SW Hammond
Life Is Strange became a perfect storm of teenage angst, friendship, and hipster quirkiness backed by thoughtful storytelling and a...
SW Hammond
People are sheep, and Stanley Milgram scientifically proved it. How could the Holocaust happen? How can there still be institutional racism?...
Music
SW Hammond
Sarah Saturday's dreamy-reflective bedroom pop rock project captivates and compels with earnest songwriting. Sarah Saturday might be my...
SW Hammond
Maybe you can never go home again. But if you could, Ghost Notes would be the soundtrack. For some reason I’ve avoided writing about Ghost...
SW Hammond
Guilty Pleasure? Embarrassed??? Hardly. As much as I love music, and devoted a significant amount of my life to it, I can still be pretty...
Philosophy
SW Hammond
What is the soul and how does it work? Is your soul exploited by the State through the Noble Lie? Plato (429—327 BCE) serves as the backbone...
SW Hammond
The greatest challenge to General Artificial Intelligence (GAI) is human intelligence. We as humans would be the GAI’s creator and its...
SW Hammond
Things are One and Being is truth. The pre-Socratic philosopher Parmenides, who is thought to have been born between 540 and 515 BCE (dates...
Memoirs
SW Hammond
I was finally able to extract a bunch of data from an old hard drive. I was sure it contained old writings, school projects and music but...
SW Hammond
As I’ve become older, out of my twenties for a couple of years, I’ve found myself settling into a pattern of reveling in solitude. When I...
SW Hammond
I used to pour my guts out. Seems the only way I ever understood my feelings were to read them. The collection within these pages used to...