Sam Malone

Someone once told me that a true judge of character is how someone reacts after they’ve made a mistake. I’ve made a lot of mistakes lately. More in the last two months than in the entire last two years. The realization I’ve come to is that I’m absolutely no good for anyone, but that I’m unquestionably great for someone.

In a time such as this, I like to turn to my good friend Sam Malone for some advice. I mean, making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got. Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot… Sam is undoubtedly one of the best womanizing characters in television history. It has nothing to do with the quantity of women he’s had relations with but it’s the fact that everyone still loves him afterward. That’s what elevates Sam into legendary status, he possess a certain charm which we all wish we had a piece of.

Here’s the thing with Sam. Sam Malone will forever be Sam Malone. You know that going in. He’s self centered, self reliant, self serving, charming, fun, youthful, passionate, witty, romantic and 100% non committal. He’s not a tough man to figure out, yet he’s irresistible. Here’s where things go wrong. For some reason the next woman in line thinks she’ll be different then the last. She thinks she’ll be the one to change him, instead of simply enjoying the time she has with him. Once things end, which they always do, the woman is in a fit of rage. Not really over Sam, but because deep down she’s angry with herself. She feels foolish. She knew Sam was never going to change but somehow she lead herself to believe that he would- for her.

By Sam teaching me this little life lesson, I don’t feel nearly as bad for my recent activities. I can’t control what other people think, how they interpret things, and the expectations they build. The problem is that once you start your way down the slippery slope of involvement, socially certain expectations are inherently placed upon you. Knowing this, I was always upfront and honest about my intentions in one way or another. I come stamped with an invisible “will not commit” tag, though we’ve been trained to believe that actions speak louder than words. So who’s at fault here?

The both of you. You both wanted different things out of the encounter, you both knew that, but you both went along with it anyway. Diane had to go and screw everything up though. Oh sweet, sweet Diane… Diane is the x factor that both parties hold on to. Sam deep down hopes that every girl he messes around with will be of Diane quality and secretly every girl wants to be “Diane” to Sam. While Sam is absolutely no good for anyone, he’s unquestionably great for Diane. According to Cheers, it’s just a matter of time before she stumbles into my life…

Love me for who I am and leave me for who I’ll never be.

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